Articles

It’s not the way that I want it. It’s just the way that I need it. Day after day.

Image source: My private collection. The view outside when I woke up today. As I woke up today these words with a certain melody were going through my head “It’s not the way that I want it. It’s just the way that I need it. Day after day.” I couldn’t Read more…

By ianaltosaar, ago
Blog

Full of Shit

Image source: Estonia, Lääne-Virumaa, Obja village. Basically we are all full of shit and the moment we think we aren’t, life shows us otherwise. All there is left to do is to pray in silence. One of the most powerful places to be is in a constant state of “I Read more…

By ianaltosaar, ago
Short stories

Messenger Wars

Image source: http://www.big-german-grocery.com/Milky-Way-chocolate-bar-9-pcs Once upon a time not so long ago in a galaxy named after a chocolate, it was a time of great innovation, new things and choice. The economy was booming, people were starting up all over the place and You could truly feel the electricity in the Read more…

By ianaltosaar, ago
Short stories

A Bug’s Life (No, not that one and actually in this story there is more than one bug. Can’t remember if there was more than one bug in that movie. Bug or bugs? Aah fuck it).

Image source: http://disney.wikia.com/wiki/File:A-bugs-life-logo2.png Fade in: Inside an apartment – Night A small but nice apartment near the city center. Hipsterville. A man in his late twenties starts to write in his diary. Ian, a writer, investor,  is sitting behind is desk. He is tall and handsome, with a beard. Narrator Read more…

By ianaltosaar, ago
Blog

Does It Really Matter?

Image source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VEJbDIwTKNM Today is a day to feel empty, to be comfortable with the knowing that it sometimes really doesn’t matter.  And we are the ones who make it matter, in our minds. In our wild stories of success and happiness.  Meaning, depth, memories, rules, stories. Some describe this Read more…

By ianaltosaar, ago
Poetry

The Amount Of Bullshit

There is so much So much of bullshit Layers upon layers Who are we really? Does anyone know? I believe some might have a clue Even they suffocate from their own bullshit It’s definitely weighing on me The amount of it all It’s a tad overwhelming Just looking at the Read more…

By ianalt5_wp, ago
Poetry

My Morning

Image source: http://abcnews.go.com/Health/running-tips-safe-winter/story?id=36175852 It’s quiet, a man scrapes his window The thickness of the air brushes against My face It’s the only thing not covered My breath quickens I start to move My heavy legs They are tired, carried me around for a while now Mail carrier ladies do their Read more…

By ianaltosaar, ago
Blog

Connection

Image source: This is me. With and without My bullshit.   As I’m discovering a deeper connection with Myself it’s becoming clearer to me that I madly yearn for connection. Deep soul connection. The yearning is almost unbearable. It’s like something is constantly crawling under Your skin and You want Read more…

By ianaltosaar, ago
Blog

My Desire

Image source: http://www.newsnish.com/tips/health-tips/seven-types-of-love-you-might-experience-in-your-life/ I’m sitting by the fireplace at my families country home. Journaling. Journaling about a specific topic this time. My desire. My desire with women and life in general. When I was first introduced to this exercise the first thing that came up was “I don’t know”. Mostly Read more…

By ianaltosaar, ago