Image source: My private collection. On a marsh island, Estonia, Lääne-Virumaa.

This is literally going to be one of those articles that teaches You how to do something. Exactly like Cosmos “How to turn on Your man with these 5 easy tricks?” Or “74 ways to help You find Your purpose easily!” I hate those articles so much and here I am, writing one of them. Life is certainly strange sometimes. Hope You bare with me.

So first we have to define what I’m actually talking about. “Your own personal inner truth” can certainly be defined in a variety of ways.

What do I mean by it?

There is a situation in Your life, emotions are triggered, thoughts are thought. But life is so busy You don’t have the time to process what really happened or what actually happened for You personally. And suddenly You find Yourself screaming at the people that You love and they are screaming back at You ( don’t know if You can tell but this has happened to me in real life :O .) So now, if You are a conscious human being, You start to ponder. What the hell is actually going on here?

One of the best questions You can ask Yourself being in that emotional state or afterwards is, what is actually true for me here? Many things happen when You ask that question. For one, You move out of the victim state and open up energy. Two, answers already might start appearing. And three, this is the really nice part. You might understand already what’s really going on for You. But if it doesn’t, don’t worry, You can do many things to open up energy. Meditation, exercise, writing etc. Just plain old thinking and feeling are pretty good as well. Talking to and connecting with others openly is my personal favorite.

Now comes the hardest part. Actually admitting to Yourself what’s really going on. Because it’s usually something we don’t want to admit to ourselves. So the mind twists and turns, You fight and suppress Your feelings, until You are back in the yelling match with Your spouse.

So if this happens multiple times, You will get tired, maybe even a little hopeless. Some despair might creep in once in a while etc. This is a good thing because now You are finally in a place where You are already in so much pain that a little more does not make a difference anymore. This means You are finally in a place to admit to Yourself what’s Your truthful inner experience.

I must add here that we as humans, in our minds, are terrified of truth. One of the famous cliches “Truth has the ability to set You free” is completely true. We are just so deeply afraid of it because we have been conditioned to think that if we feel or think certain things then there is something wrong with us. (Or we are inherently bad.) This is not actually true.  There are many reasons for this. Our upbringing, religious dictatorships, distorted truths spread by people wanting to control people etc. The important thing here to realize is that whatever it is that You are experiencing in the moment is okay. It just is. It’s in our minds where we make it wrong or bad.

Now comes the culmination of his piece, my own personal example. Woohoo!

The examples I gave You in the first part of this article are from my own personal life. From one of the closest relationships in my life. I was in deep despair and even hopelessness. Stuck. Finally today, after being in this inquiry I realized, I’m actually really afraid of that person deep down. Now this does not mean that the other person is bad or I am bad. The only thing it really means is that I’m afraid of that person. That’s it.

I even took it a little further. The reason why this was so hard for me to admit was that I’m a man and men are not supposed to be afraid of anything. So my mind was fighting in order to survive. Because to my conditioned mind if I admit that I’m afraid, I’m worthless = I’m not loved. And it is true, some people might not love me just because I admit that I’m afraid of someone. That sucks but nothing really we can do about it. Here a good question to ask is, which is more important to us, our own personal freedom or the opinions of others? (This is a good question to ask regardless of the situation.) I’ve also found that the people who are really my friends or allies (some even so called random people) accept and even respect the fact that I’ve been able to admit the truth to myself and others.

Now You might be asking or thinking “Okay Ian, this is great but why is this even important?”

A good question. The short answer, the realization or understanding of my own inner experience, admitting the truth to myself gave me freedom. After admitting it to myself a sense of ease returned and I was able to think clearly again. Feel good in my body, solid and secure in my own experience. Compared to before when I was in deep sadness, despair, powerlessness and victim state.

We have been so strongly conditioned by our educational system, families, society at large to suppress what is actually going on for us in the moment. This is causing tremendous harm to our psyches, emotional well being, relationships, the list goes on and on.

So I really invite You to find out what is actually true for You in the moment? Even if it’s looked down upon Your friends, lovers, families, the president or celestial beings. This will in most cases offer You inner freedom and peace.

Ian Altosaar

 


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