Image source: My private collection. The view outside when I woke up today.

As I woke up today these words with a certain melody were going through my head “It’s not the way that I want it. It’s just the way that I need it. Day after day.” I couldn’t remember exactly whose song it was but the melody was very familiar. After doing a quick search I remembered Kelly Osbourne. She has a version of this song out, I don’t know if it’s the original.

These lines hit me straight in the face.

I’ve been wanting so much for something else and at the same time denying that desire (also wanting it to come quicker). With it I’ve denied the very nature of who I am. You see, this is how it’s always been and it will always be on this plane. We are explorers. As soon as we achieve something or rather are able to create some of our desires, new desires, a new calling is born. So we are pulled towards that by the very power and law of this universe. We want to experience and explore so much that sometimes it is hard to allow that desire. Because a lot of the teachings out there say that we should be pleased with what we have got. And that is true. But on some occasions it is more true for us to want something new or more.

Now comes the part of “It’s exactly the way I need it.” This is how it always is. It cannot be any other way.

In the moment it is very difficult to understand when we have a strong desire for something. A year from now, when the dust has settled, things have changed, new people have entered our lives or we have deeper relationships with the people in our lives, we understand “Aha! This is why I needed to go through that and this is why that was necessary.”

I needed this reminder today, to find some acceptance for how things are. Because when we don’t yet accept what really is, it is very hard to move forward. In that we are denying life and life does not like to be denied. A better thing to think or say to oneself would be “This is how it actually is right now and it sucks, it really sucks. I want something entirely different.” And then to be with it for a while. It might be 2 minutes or 2 months. Or 2 days. It depends on the situation.

What happens when we do that?

You see when we resist something energy gets stuck. Because we are energy and we are in essence resisting ourselves. Instead we need to allow what’s inside of us. Not to be mistaken with doing everything that comes to mind or everything we are emotionally inclined to! NO!

Allowing oneself is actually being aware of what is going on for us in each moment. Or in other words, what is actually true for us in each moment.

It might be as simple (or difficult) as “I am afraid of death” or like for me today “I want something more and I want it quicker.”

An important distinction here to make is that it does not mean we have to change things immediately or do something. After finding that clarity it is important to sit or be with it for a moment, or more. Because now instead of resisting (not allowing energy to move) energy will start flowing again (the nature of this existence) and we will be naturally pulled towards those things, people or experiences we truly need.

Living in this universe is actually more of an inside job. After or even during the inside job is being taken care of, the outside world will respond.

Ian Altosaar


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