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The last six years of my life have been at the same time very humbling and empowering. Many things have happened, new ways of being with myself and new ways of understanding this reality we call our home. An emotional journey through the self and consciousness. A wild ride to say the least.

During this time an understanding has reared it’s head many times. The idea of oneness. There have been spontaneous moments where I’ve felt total unity consciousness flowing through me. As a result of finding freedom within me. I call these openings.

Every opening of this kind during these years has revealed one understanding to me.

I have everything inside of me and I consist of everything that surrounds me. I am capable of anything and being anyone.

For example, I am capable of hurting someone and at the next moment becoming a saint instead. A very simplified example but I hope You get the point. Or to go even further, I am capable of killing a creature (being a murderer or having the killer energy within me) and the next moment saving someone’s life. And every other kind of being in between.

These openings have made this realization deeper and deeper every time.

With each of these experiences I’ve found that after realizing that on a deeper level I’ve become more open and loving towards all life on this planet. Nature, people, animals etc. I’ve also become less judgemental. Obviously I still judge my experience sometimes but I’ve learned one crucial thing through this.

The origin of every judgment comes from the lack of understanding that in each given moment I could very well be in that situation. Or in other words that everything I see and experience could be me. And is me if we look deep enough.

A good earthly example is in order.

You see a homeless person on the street. In Your mind judge them for not being able to provide for themselves and begging for money on the street.

But in reality You forget that You Yourself had once money problems and were not that responsible with money. And You deep down still judge that part of Yourself and have buried it deep into Your subconsciousness. Now seeing that person instead of understanding them You give out a judgment towards them in order to not feel Your own shame or pain.

If You were conscious of that part of Yourself and found some peace and acceptance with it, there is another way that thought process could go. “Shit, there’s this dude. That sucks, I’ve been there or in a somewhat similar situation. I know how much that hurts. I hope they will bounce back and find some good fortune of their own.” Or something like that.

Judging things or people is not bad or good. It just is. But I’m in the business of finding freedom in my everyday experience and when I judge I feel like crap myself. This understanding that in each given moment I could be that person or thing or animal I’m judging has given me more freedom in my life.

I hope You ponder and sit with this realization and it gives You the same kind of freedom I’ve found.

Ian Altosaar


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