Image source: Day after the full moon on 25th of December 2015. Lääne-Virumaa, My families country home.
At first I stood My ground
She made a grueling sound, like a hound
I remembered to stand strong and tall
But it did not prepare me for the fall
Call after call after call
My confidence was fading
She spit fiery ball after ball after ball…
I was done
She had had her way with me
I was in pieces, shivering
Long gone
In shambles the darkness began to fade
Looking at the damage that was made
Engrained in me deeply
I tried to organize it neatly
It didn’t make sense
How, why had this happened?
No mind can grasp this concept
There was nothing left to do but surrender
Deep surrender, I could not think
All the bullshit, all the little intricacies
Nothing was left, only death
I could see again
All the beauty as it was
So complex and yet so simple
This had eluded me before
The blindfold had been lifted
I’m still scared, almost terrified of it
But the appreciation in me has grown
And the yearning for it,
Let’s put it this way
Life without it seems bleak
Ian
<3
