Connection

Image source: This is me. With and without My bullshit.

 
As I’m discovering a deeper connection with Myself it’s becoming clearer to me that I madly yearn for connection. Deep soul connection.

The yearning is almost unbearable. It’s like something is constantly crawling under Your skin and You want to release it so badly but don’t exactly know how. You try to sit with it, let it be, ignore it but it’s still there. Quietly consuming Your days. Days go by so fast because Your constantly absorbed by the ever deepening sensation in Your mind and body. I can feel it now. It’s not painful at the moment, it’s softer. The pull of it is so strong You are capable of doing anything but at the same time You are paralyzed by the heaviness of the desire for it. You try to think of tactical ways of getting it. “This is madness I tell You!”, goes through Your mind as You giggle remembering a funny scene from a movie You don’t remember the name of. While laughing You understand the seriousness of it at the same time. You are petrified. Maybe this is My life now? The bare thought of it is enough to drive You mad. This can’t be it? You think with a lingering desperation. You can’t breathe, maybe only on the surface You can hang on to a couple of short breaths. You panic, every important or unimportant memory flashes before Your eyes. Where can I get it again?!?!?! You scream in Your head frantically. Then reality starts slowly catching up to You. This might be it. Accepting the sorrow fact that You might alone in this forever. Always on the hunt, searching for something that is and isn’t outside of You. You smirk at another paradox on Your way but it’s a kind, accepting smirk. A gentle giggle at the far corner of Your heart. You feel lighter. The silliness of this experience touched Your innocence again. Your breaths are deeper once more, vivid and lively. You release a soft sigh of relief. This how acceptance feels like. You ponder with a mellow presence. Until next time…

<3

Ian

Next week:

  • Finish projects You have started. Reclaim Your Inner Throne training homework, training calls, teleseminars etc.
  • Sports betting, attend live games, do one thing at a time. Be present when making decisions. Breathe the attention in Your body.
  •  Fill out Your daily diary.
  • Write down ideas, dreams, synchronicities, events etc.
  • Eat a vegetarian diet, plus eggs.
  • Meditate when You feel like it, take time for it.
  • Exercise at least 4 times a week.
  • Meet people in real life, do smth fun.
  • Continue with anal de-armouring.
  • Practice feeling Your feelings and being present with Yourself. Say Your thoughts out loud.
  • Sleep.
  • Breathing exercises and cold showers.
  • Draw or color smth. Create something.
  • Remember Your presence and take life as it is.
  • Daily brain training at http://www.lumosity.com.

Music pick of the week. Love the passion and vibes I’m getting from these two gentlemen:

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XA72-mzHkAY]


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