Communication in Relationships: Lessons from a Heated Argument

Communication in relationships often takes a back seat when emotions run high, yet it’s the cornerstone of any lasting bond.  

Join me as we navigate the rough waters of emotional discord, discovering together how sincere apologies and genuine understanding can not only mend but deepen our connections.  

This story is a heartfelt reminder of the power we hold to heal and strengthen our relationships through open and honest communication.

Why trust me? I’m a certified astrologer from, certified coach from, and certified Compassion Key practicioner from With over a decade of experience in astrology, self-development world, and working with people.

— The Freedom Astrologer

“Fuck You!” she yelled. 

“Fuck Yourself!” I replied. 

This carried on for a while. Finally an ice-breaker from her “You hurt me so much and I’m so mad at You!” 

“What did I do exactly?” (Wrong reply by the way). 

She huffed and puffed. I could still feel and see the steam rising and coming from her eyes. Her energy was on high alert. It was clearly a trauma reaction but I was also in my pain so it was hard to react in a better way. 

“You are just so selfish, and ignorant, and fucking stupid!” 


Emotionally Checking Out in Relationships

Communication in Relationships

Now I realized I actually had her against the ropes and swinging recklessly. The blood was running from the cut I had made when I landed the “blow” as I checked out when she wanted to connect with me during a busy workday. 

I had made a mistake by replying “So what? Why is that important?” to one of her inquiries into the things I was doing. 

I was tired, I had a million things on my mind. And this is where I went with my excuse. 

“Why is this important? I have so much on my mind. I don’t have the time to explain this to You!” Big fucking mistake this reply… 

We jousted like this for the next couple of minutes. Only leading to more emotional reactions.

Coming Back to Yourself in Communication in Relationships 

I had to pull myself back into my energy and presence. Thus, realizing that my reply had been on the borderline of selfishness at best.

I should have replied at the beginning “I’m sorry babe, I’m a bit overwhelmed. Let’s talk about this after when we have time to focus on one another, I love You.” 

It was too late for that. 

“What do You actually want? Can You please say?” 

She calmed down a bit. 

“You hurt me, and I want You to realize this. I want You to say You are sorry.” 


But she was right. I was wrong. It was time to admit it. 

Apologizing is Key in Communication in Relationships

Communication in Relationships

“I’m sorry I hurt You. It was not my intention. I was a bit overwhelmed.” 

She settled down now and was more receptive. I could see the sea calming finally. 

“Then You should have said so. You should have said that let’s talk later.” 

I knew she was right. I apologized once more, and more importantly, understood the lesson. 

It is easy to try to shut people off and down when we are overwhelmed in a relationship. It is what we are used to. Instead of expressing our truth. 

We are used to making the other person wrong because that means we don’t have to be wrong ourselves. 

Or find excuses like “Why is this even important?” 

When the truth is actually “I’m a bit overwhelmed and need time to recover.”

Shutting Down While Communicating in Relationships 

When we shut down and are not truthful the ones closest to us can feel that. Their own pain is triggered, and conflict follows. 

Sometimes this also leads to suppression – when Your default is to go there. And then the fight happens years later. 

But when You realize Your mistakes, it is time to apologize and take the lesson, as hard as it is. 

No need to justify Your reply. Understand that You were in the wrong. 

Then kiss and make up. Do better next time. 

If You are ready to learn more, check out my deep dive into psychological and practical astrology here.

The Freedom Astrologer

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