fuller mooner

I decided I will start writing in English. The idea is to test it out and see how I feel. So let’s go. It’s the week with the full moon, always an interesting time. I already prepared myself for it last week. I knew a storm was coming and all my insecurities etc will come to the surface. Nothing gentle about it. I’ve felt totally insecure and worthless in a lot of situations. For example basketball. After not playing at all for two and a half years I expected to kick ass basically. This has been a rude awakening. I have to accept now that it’s going to take time to get back close to the level I once was at. And it has been hard. Because I attach my self worth to the outside. Now I can see it as separate from me, that it’s just another story. But saying that to Yourself when You are in the midst of it all, a whole other thing. Still it’s like a muscle. Practice it with consistency, it will get stronger. Practice the feeling of it and it will get easier every day.

Last week:

  • Finish projects You have started. Start reading Intelligent Investor. – I didn’t start reading Intelligent Investor. Reclaim Your Inner Throne training started so for the next 3 months I’ll be occupied with that.
  • Sports betting. Attend live games and do one thing at a time. – Didn’t attend as many live games as I would have liked. Still enjoy it. But definitely did a lot of things at once. Just got to be present with it all.
  • Fill out Your daily diary. – Yes, a sure way to practice writing daily and really get to know Yourself better. Has helped me discover afterwards what I was feeling during daily events that were more intense.
  • Write down ideas, dreams, synchronicities, wishes, events etc. – Yes, very useful.
  • Eat a vegetarian diet, plus eggs. – Yes, discovered they add sugar to some raisins, switched to a different brand.
  • Exercise at least 4 times a week. – Seems like a usually do 5-6 times a week. Also started exercising during work. Mostly legs but some upper body exercises as well.
  • Meditate when You feel like it. – Still usually do it before bed and sometimes at work take exactly 7 minutes to practice being present with myself when I’m rushing things.
  • Practices “What would a person who loved themselves do” and “What would You do if You had 20 mil Euros?” – I can’t remember if I asked once. There’s a good chance I didn’t.
  • Continue with anal de-armouring. – Yes, I do it longer on the weekends when I have more free time.
  • Practice feeling Your feelings and being present with them. Say Your thoughts out loud. – Yes, but it has been a little bit more difficult with the full moon and all. RYIT training has helped already in that department.
  • Continue being present with people, be genuinely interested in them. – Yes, but there were a couple of scenarios when I felt worthless and wanted to prove my self worth by telling how awesome I am.
  • Sleep – Definitely want more of that but have noticed that sometimes I can function really good on just 6 hours of sleep. So will keep on monitoring that.
  • Meet people in real life, do smth fun. – Thanks to my work I’ve been socializing a lot more. Also thanks to basketball.
  • Draw or colour smth. – Yet again I didn’t. Come on this week!
  • Remember Your presence and take life as it is. – Definitely a week where I tried escaping my feelings more than usual. Mostly with work n stuff.
  • Daily brain training at www.lumosity.com. – Yes, but seems like I have plateaued in some games. Need a fresh approach.

Next week:

  • Finish projects You have started. Reclaim Your Inner Throne training homework, training calls, teleseminars etc.
  • Sports betting, attend live games, do one thing at a time. Be present when making decisions. Breathe the attention in Your body.
  •  Fill out Your daily diary.
  • Write down ideas, dreams, synchronicities, events etc.
  • Eat a vegetarian diet, plus eggs.
  • Meditate when You feel like it, take time for it.
  • Exercise at least 4 times a week.
  • Continue with practices “What would someone who loved themselves do?” and “What would You do if You had 20 mil Euros?”
  • Meet people in real life, do smth fun.
  • Continue with anal de-armouring.
  • Practice feeling Your feelings and being present with Yourself. Say Your thoughts out loud.
  • Practice being present with others and be genuinely interested in them.
  • Sleep.
  • Draw or colour smth.
  • Remember Your presence and take life as it is.
  • Daily brain training at www.lumosity.com.

I listened to this song over and over again for some reason. Then my friend said to me at a basketball game that he really enjoys the same song. A nice synchronicity:

Truly feels like this post isn’t me and is written to gain love and significance from the outside. Bullshit :). Think this is the most real thing I’ve said whole week.

<3

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