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To delve into the mystery that is Your own wounding and pain
Means letting go
And knowing Yourself

Where does pain stop?
And integrity begin?
Which is which?
Are they intertwined?
They must be
Because one must reconcile
With the first
And then the latter will become into existence

Cold blooded this may seem
Like laughter
During winter’s darkness

In darkness, we cannot see
We can only feel our way through
The taste of Your own presence
A glimmer of hope to take with You

Can You see the sudden changes?
Mindful of being lost in my emotions
So rash, so blunt
I’ve now lost the count
Of how many times
I’ve lost the meaning
My world shattered
Was I naive?
To think and hope for some honour and dignity?

It is a testament to Your own inner strength
If the closest person to You
Can go back on their word
And You can find the bleeding knife in their hands
Of how much dignity and pride You still have?

Ian Altosaar


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