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I’ve been curled up in a ball for three days
Looking for ways to give rise to what’s inside
But wait, sadness has it’s plans with me as of late
Shifting and lifting the weights I’ve put on Myself
Bitter taste I find in the caves, shame, I start to fade
I thought I was made, then remade, getting laid?
That doesn’t solve this insurmountable disdain
I have with Myself, pain, afraid, insane.
No. That shit stays, at a humble distance
I admit the resistance I carry with this dance
Entranced with validation, speculation
Rises again, within these walls I’ve put up
Guilt built silently for years and years
The tears, the fears got me by the ears
I ache, remake put it all at stake
What if this is a mistake?
This must be fate, great
At this rate, in this state
Seemingly all will be laced
With quiet faith in it’s place


Ian Altosaar

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