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Definitely uncomfortable
The feeling before sitting down with myself
Anxiety and nervousness rolled into one
With a subtle hint of restlessness to boot
I wonder and ponder every addiction I can remember
I grab for one, my phone, e-mail, water, sugar
I wipe my phone open
No! I don’t want this anymore
I can do better, better for myself
I put it down, I breathe
I breathe more, it’s a lot to take all at once
Once more, I can slowly feel myself now
I can feel my heart
The warm glow of it helps me through
I’m safe now
I take this moment with me
Afraid of losing it
And it’s gone
I can feel it with my fingertips still
Until it gradually makes it’s way into the distance of the past
It’s gone
I have warm memories of it dancing in my heart
I release a sad sigh of longing
The day goes on
And Me,
I’m here
Contemplating, mulling over
Tasting the breeze of nothingness

With a glow in My heart,

Ian Altosaar

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