Image source: Photo by mauro mora on Unsplash
The moment I deem something unnecessary or wrong in my head I’m giving out a judgment.
Nothing new about this.
But in order for us to be more honest and open with ourselves, this has to be observed.
Everyone one of us is at a different growth stage in our development. All the time. We are growing at every moment.
Sometimes these moments can overlap and we might find ourselves together with some people, who are in a similar state of consciousness or growth. These are good times.
But one of the most important distinctions to make is when and why are we giving out judgments to other people’s journeys.
I’ve done a lot of things on my path. Tried many things, different diets, a variety of practices, meditations etc. They all have served me somehow.
I’ve found myself in judgment of those people who are “where I use to be.” Another concept of the mind that can be detrimental.
So at that moment when I see someone that is struggling with their lives and they are reading about getting up really early, exercising insanely etc. I sometimes can judge them for doing it to such an extreme degree. Just because the same practice is not serving me currently. “Don’t they know this might damage their health?” Or something similar.
I’ve done this with many writers and leaders who give advice publically. Just like I do. Forgetting the fact that we give advice and write from our perspective. And the right people who are in similar places of growth will be pulled towards that information. Just when they need it.
That being said, there are moments where we all have to look at the things that we are doing, the advice we are giving, and the things where we are putting our energy into. And ask, is this really serving someone? Or even better yet, what’s this in service of? If You don’t like the answer to that question, I believe we should at least consider acting differently. Sometimes others can assist us here as well.
Anyway, judgments.
At that moment of judgment, I’m blind to the fact that the same practice served me in the past. And might serve me in the future once more.
So it is really important to allow people in our lives to have the freedom they so desperately yearn for. So I can have it myself. A very selfish act indeed. But a good one.
And then, there are other cases.
This understanding (about judgment) does not have to limit us from challenging others where we really deem necessary. Sometimes this is required of us to ground the other. It is okay to help others if they are at least a tiny bit open to it.
We don’t have to judge other’s experiences. We can observe them for what they are. And then if we absolutely deem necessary offer our guidance or challenge to them. Be it world leaders, our parents, or our lovers.
We can live our lives and let other’s live theirs.
The extreme examples here where not to “allow others their own experience” are when people are crossing Your boundaries. Those are definitely times for standing up for Yourself and if necessary taking Yourself out of the situation.
Don’t make this truth an excuse for other people to walk over You, or take advantage of You.
Allow them theirs and ask them to allow Yours.
And fight if they disagree and won’t leave You alone.
Ian Altosaar
