Image source: https://pixabay.com/en/woman-tiger-fur-predator-cat-254538/

Look deeper
Always look deeper
To come into more knowing

Emotion is shallow
Feeling is deeper
Knowing both is equally important

Here is where thought enters
The knowing
To go even deeper

Women are not straightforward
The mind cannot possibly solve this equation
You have to feel with them
Breathe with them
If You so choose to

But as a man You have to preserve Your own sense of even deeper presence
Because they will twist and turn You around
Not on purpose
But a subconscious energy so strong
You and I can’t possibly fathom it

Pace Yourself
Because knowing a woman deeply
Will require everything that You’ve got
And even that might not be enough

The only knowing that has ever helped me
Is the knowing that it has nothing to do with me
And it has everything to do with me

I will explain further

Because meeting a woman is always a test
Even if You have been with her for a decade
Or You just met her a second ago
For them there is very little difference

They can smile or laugh
Cry or hate You
There is no solid ground
Only emotion

And even that is a test
For You to know Yourself even more
For her to know if she can at all trust You
It is the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to learn

I will continue to learn
Because it will show me my shortcomings as a man
It is important here to address the fact that You can at any moment step out of this
This is of great importance
But if You stay
Know that the storm is always brewing
Even if the waters are as still as stone

And make no mistake
It is You
Who has to be stronger
Who has to have more presence
Because You actually are
You have this magnificent ability to receive everything in existence
This is what You have to use here

It is hard, it is very hard to be in that all
But the only way to win for Yourself
Is to continually show up for Yourself
For her
Even if she says it’s still not enough
You have to show up even then

These are the most difficult moments
Knowing if there is truth in what she is saying
Or if it’s complete bullshit
And You have the right to call her on it
Go ahead, shove it right in her face
Not for to be mean
No, for her to learn as well
Both parties have to learn
She has as much responsibility to show up as You do
Remember that

But remember to be vulnerable as well
Know when to own Your shit and call her on it
There are times to do it
Even if she says the opposite
This is another test for Your strength of character

I have tears in my eyes writing about how many times I’ve been tested as a man
And if You are anything like me
You get confused, why, why is she constantly testing me?
Doesn’t she know already that I love her?

She does
But she forgets
She needs to know again and again
That’s why she does it
She needs to be affirmed that she is desired and loved
Just as we sometimes require the same thing

It’s part of their job
But a part of their job is to learn how to do it
This is their personal work
Let them do it

Do Your best
Wake up
Remind Yourself why You are there
And put one foot in front of the other
This is what eventually leads to Your own knowing of Yourself

Ian Altosaar


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