Image source: Photo by Xan Griffin on Unsplash

There is this big idea that we have to become something and then identify with that something in order to live a more meaningful life.

This is only partially true.

Becoming something is actually good. Like becoming a father, that will teach You new things. It will make You grow as a man.

But to identify Yourself with fatherhood is dangerous. Or with anything for that matter.

Why is this dangerous?

Because the moment You identify with something, losing it will have the ability to break You apart.

So the minute You don’t have that girlfriend, or business or idea, Your whole being perceives it to be nothing of value.

Or in other words, You perceive Yourself to be worthless.

What would be the other way of looking at it?

Still becoming those things and living them fully. Being the best father, boyfriend, business owner You possibly can. And knowing that it’s not actually You. Knowing that it can end immediately. And You as a being are more than those things. You have everything and You are everything. And You are nothing and You don’t have anything. This is the truth of it.

Why is this important?

This will allow You to live a more full life, without being afraid of losing those things. And when gaining and losing those items, experiences, it won’t hurt so bad when it’s all done.

I add gaining here because this can very easily become an identity in it of itself.

So know that it is good to gain something, good to be something. But at every given moment this can be taken from You and replaced with something else.

Living life from a place of strong detachment.

Allowing and owning at the same time.

Ian Altosaar


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