How to Live With and Be Okay With Jealousy? And Become a Whole, Free Human Being.

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

Jealousy usually stems from childhood.

Remember those instances Your mommy or daddy didn’t “seem” to love You enough?

That is one of the places this comes from.

The perceived lack of love from them living on in Your daily life. Usually with Your chosen romantic partner or even with friends, co-workers, etc.

It can also come from the ideas You have about love. Although these also originate from childhood.

Some examples of those ideas or thoughts in Your mind:

“If he or she goes and sleeps with another person that means something about me. Usually that I’m not good enough for them (actually mommy or daddy). Or I’m not worthy of their love (usually mommy or daddy).”

“If my partner leaves me for another person then I’m not okay or again I’m losing their (my parents) love, which leads me to the place of not being good enough. Or I’m not worthy of being loved.”

“If I’m in a committed relationship then my partner should not act like this or that or do this or that. If they do this or that (look at other people for example) then the relationship is wrong and they (my parents) don’t love me enough. And then I should force them to love me more by controlling their behavior.”

You can see these thought patterns can cause a lot of harm.

Whatever the case might be for You, You might have different thought patterns that cause jealousy (the perceived loss of love), You probably have experienced jealousy in a negative way in Your life.

What can You do about this You might be asking now?

I’m so glad You asked!

I’m going to share a practice with You that will help You with jealousy or actually any other fear that You might have about anything.

This is a bit of an extreme example so only read onwards if You are ready to face Your fears.

The next time You are jealous of Your partner, all those ideas come to Your mind of them going out and cheating on You do the following:

Let those ideas come. Just observe them.

Let it go really dark and scary. In Your mind’s eye let Your partner go on a sexual experimentation ride like never before! With other people!

Really go at it. As deep as You can here.

Once You are there let Yourself imagine and feel all of those feelings of fear, losing their love, etc come up to Your being.

Let it crumble You to the ground.

Cry if necessary.

Once You have done this long enough something will start to happen.

You will most likely become more whole as a being.

You will start to see Your partner as a beautiful person instead of controlling and manipulating them to Your will.

You will understand that in all actuality You want them to be happy, truly happy. Even if it is with another person.

You will become more whole as a human being Yourself. And thanks to that You will let others experience their lives more freely.

You can do this with absolutely anything You are deeply afraid of.

Only if You are willing to let go of how things should be…

Ian Altosaar

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