Wide Awake

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Wide awake
Can’t seem to rid myself of the taste
Past memories
Still lurking in my consciousness

Strange people
My beliefs and convictions challenged on a new level
When I look at them
Still, a part of me does not understand

What are the reasons
Beauty seeks so much power?
Is this fear?
Or just sensitivity?

Delightful the character
But does anybody even care?
Maybe it’s all meant to be?
Changed in our differences
Pulled towards one another
By subconscious impulses
Those that impacted us
Years before

The knowing still remains a mystery
Although somewhere deeper I must go
A new part to be discovered
Another layer uncovered

Still, a smidgen of sadness remains
Why can’t I ever be the same?
The gaze still pointed outwards
Look inside I must
Feels like on the cusp of something bigger
A new taste and vigor
Await on the shores of self-mastery
And deeper learning

Ian Altosaar

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