Not Knowing

Image source: Photo by Mustafa ezz from Pexels https://www.pexels.com/photo/photography-of-person-wearing-hoodie-jacket-590701/

Thrust into myself again
Wound that cuts so deep
Almost can’t see the surface
Realizing that I may never feel free of this
Is as painful as losing that perceived freedom I thought I had
I’m left pondering, is there something more real behind this?
True freedom?
Buried underneath the wreckage of years and years worth of pain and sadness
Perceptions and stories
How can I feel welcome in this world?
How can I feel wanted?
To feel truly loved?
Remains to be seen
If I can honestly feel myself through this
The sheer size of this mountain seems insurmountable
I will do my best
As long as I can possibly carry on
I’m with You

Ian Altosaar

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