Everything That Used to Make Me Feel Alive Makes Me Feel Dead Inside

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Everything that used to make me feel alive
Now makes me feel dead inside
And then I realized
It didn’t actually make me feel alive
Just amplified the emptiness I felt inside
It made me feel more of what was already there
With no one to share, the gifts that felt so rare

Then I started taking better care
Of myself and the blank stare
Turned into sad despair

Days and nights followed
Restless and alone, seemed it was carved into stone
Nothing could take the pain
I thought it would always stay the same

Life had other plans
I grew stronger, started making stands
Holding hands with myself
Slowly carrying the load
As much as I could hold

I can see the light now
Holding me tightly, oh wow
We are walking together, sound
Feet on the ground
Life has been turned around
Bound to happen
When I least expected

Ian Altosaar

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