My Desire

Image source: I’m sitting by the fireplace at my families country home. Journaling. Journaling about a specific topic this time. My desire. My desire with women and life in general. When I was first introduced to this exercise the first thing that came up was “I don’t know”. Mostly directed towards my desire with … Read more

The burning of the yearning

Image source: Have You ever felt yearning for someone or something? I have. It feels like something outside of You is pulling You towards that thing/person/situation and at the same time You really don’t have a chance to get it. Lot of stories come up. Why is this like this, it’s supposed to be … Read more

Sitting here

Image source: Kalamaja beach, taken couple of months back during sunset. I’m just sitting here, pondering what to write about. I’m feeling almost okay today or more upbeat than usual. If You’re feeling a bit down then the creative juices start flowing and everything is more dramatic. Obviously it’s like that when You’re upbeat and … Read more

In The Trenches

Image source: My families farmhouse in Ida-Virumaa, Estonia. Taken during sunset last summer. When You feel like crap or are depressed it’s like someone or something has pulled a grey veil over Your eyes. Everything seems pointless. I have no apparent reason to feel like this but I do. I’ve felt like this for a … Read more


Image source: I have no idea what to write about in this weeks blog so I’m just going to go for it. Sometimes just starting gets the juices flowing. I’m partly frustrated and I feel lightness as well. I got lost in my emotions and head today, reacted from an emotional space(I let my … Read more

Who am I?

Image source: To tell You the truth, I don’t know. It seems like I’ve taken on so many beliefs and stories from the outside, all this bullshit about how to be and not to be. Too much self development and I’ve become a certain type of sociopath. Or maybe that’s too strong of a … Read more

Subtle addictions

Image source: As my training in the Reclaim Your Inner Throne course continues into week 4, I’m head to head with my addictions. As I write this I can feel myself trying to impress whoever reads this. Pleasing others. One of my not so subtle addictions. At first I filled out my addiction sheet, … Read more

Sitting with sadness

Image source: As I write this deep pain and sadness pierces through me. The type of sadness You want to sit with, be with. As if You don’t want to let it go because You feel alive. This is the most alive I’ve felt in awhile. I’m going through rejection. Rejection is tough for … Read more

It’s okay.

It’s okay to feel how You are feeling. It’s okay to react the way You are reacting. It’s okay to judge the way You are judging. It’s okay to be present and not to be present. It’s okay. It’s all okay. We are human beings here. I kind of forgot that last week. That brought … Read more

Confidence and insecurity

I decided I will start writing in English. The idea is to test it out and see how I feel. So let’s go. It’s the week with the full moon, always an interesting time. I already prepared myself for it last week. I knew a storm was coming and all my insecurities etc will come to … Read more